To Do..

I never had a list of things to do when i entered my 20's. Looking back at all that i've done ,i just wish i had a list to tick off everything. Here is the list i would love to tick off in this decade:

1.Travel..travel...travel.....Tuscany,Leh,Kalimpong,Paris,US,to name a few places
2.Buy the most amazing camera on earth and have my exhibition: something i've been saying for the last few yrs..now need to get down to some actual work
3.My most awesome beautiful... furnished & spacious house with a view to die...sigh!!...i hve it all in my head...i can see it so clearly :))))))))))
4.Get a dog
5.Lose weight and maintain it for atleast 1 yr.[Am kinda wrking on this]
6.Take off to an unknown destination in an impromptu trip alone and take everything as it comes.
7.Meet everyone one i love and adore in 1 day at the same place and have a really good time.Would be so much fun to just be with all my close friends and family
8.still thinking
9.ummmmmmm
10.god i hve such a short list...need to work on this list now

Love!!

4 letters.Innumerable emotions.All of us have at some point or the other tried to define love. Its such a waste of time cos you just have to be in love to understand what its all about. Definitions sort of bound the emotion into the 4 letters that it is.

To just exist and let the feeling drown you with it is so easier said than done. What with our mind constantly telling and asking us what will happen and trying to plan the perfect life with all the questions.

Promise to not let my mind do its usual banter and love the emotion and everything that comes along with it.

One day at a time...

Live your life one day at a time. I have heard this line so often in my life.Its 24 hrs armed with a zillion seconds to change and shape your future.
Every small decision has far reaching consequences-[ Paulo Coelho]

You are part of a giant wheel which just keeps moving and taking you along with it.Moments pass like the leaves falling down with the breeze of time.And through the memories you look back and wonder If it would have turned out differently had you taken another step.

Mind control!!

Time is relative to the speed of your thoughts. It gets shaped by what you think.The day can be exciting,slow,boring and dull depending on how you think.What if there was a place where everything you thought could be controlled and altered to suit you.That would be so surreal.What if we are actually poised to see that happen someday on earth. All consciousness coming together to look and change the present for a better future.

You stop and think. You mull over all the options.You know there is no way out. There is only a glimmer of hope and you hang onto it.You survive it again.The questions and worries never cease to reduce. It just gets worse every time.Then the faint light beckons you again and you reach out to it. Is it all in the mind or is life really testing you?Is the hope your way out of the mess that your mind creates for you and if yes then do you hope against hope all the time and pull yourself out. If everything happens as it should. Should you really think so much? life will happen in any case. So the trick is to not fall prey to the mind and just let each second come and go and LIVE it without regret.

of increasing waistlines

I've been trying to not stuff myself with food. But off late have been just going for it. My ever increasing waistline and half hearted attempts at exercise are just not helping me get anywhere close to the fab body i had imagined for myself.

If only there was a 'pill' i could swallow or order myself a new 'waist'- life would so different.

Tomorrow is another and i stare at yet another promise to myself.Hopefully,my legs will take me for that 'walk' and my mind will stop me from eating every 10 seconds

aahh..the calling of food

'What should be'

I've realized that all us are inherently hopeless romantic.All our lives we aim to be happy. We want to be surrounded by undying love and attention. We constantly crave for that perfect world and every action tries to somehow grab and hold onto the thoughts that we have for ourselves.

Its so difficult to go against what we have imagined for ourselves all these years. We get disappointed when the very thoughts don't turn into reality.When 'What is' stares into our faces very differently from 'what should be' we freak out.

If only we could not be so hard on ourselves and take what we get and grab an old 'what is' and let 'what should be' aside. Life would be so much simpler and easier to handle.

Fond memories

My first bike ride was when I was all of 3.Dad in his black leather jacket and me in my white frilly frock sitting in front pretending like I was riding the bike. I also remember the time when we sneaked out of the house at 2 am to go eat Ice cream while mom & ani slept.Not to forget his reaction of utter disbelief when he saw that I had colored my hair with red streaks which mind you he noticed only after 3 months :)

The funniest was ofcourse the time when I got ‘advice’ on how I should get married to a ‘nice boy’ when the ‘right time’ comes as I was stepping into college. None of that ever happened of course :).Though looking back at that conversation one of things that stayed with me was how he said that he & mom will be with me in any decision of mine. And he truly was always there standing behind like a rock.

I will miss him here with me now cos I know that he is walking the sands of time in a different realm. The good thing is that I just have to close my eyes and go back to being 3 sitting on that bike having the world at my feet :)

Lost $ Found

I had the most bizarre conversation with a taxi driver...yes...i know it sounds weird but here I was hailing cab to go to work...and this really old driver says.."dont get in from there..get in from the other side"..he totally stumped me with his impeccable english..and we went on to have a conversation and i learnt that he stays in one of the flats in the building right up my lane..he drives the taxi cos he lost all his money in bizness some years back..and this is his way of meeting his daily expenses..he was so matter of fact about the whole thing. He said this is his way of doing his karma. He humbled me.

And in a completely stupid twist of fate I lost my cell fone and i realised I had no numbers on my fone.I felt so helpless and bereft of not knowing anyone- forgot my brothers number too.Then i remembered the old driver and everything he had lost...and his spirit of living his life and feeling blessed with what he has.

Time..

I've always wondered what the future would hold and how I would be at a certain point in life. It goes without saying that Nothing of what I thought has happened. When you look back at yourself thru the veils of time I am surprised at where I am right now.As i approach a landmark year in my life Im very confused cos Im thinking what the next decade will be like. If its going to be nothing like what Im thinking right now, then what would it be like.Yikes!! Hate unravellling the pages of life one day at a time. If only one could travel forward, take a peek and know everything is gonna be alright.

My Day Off..

The anticipation for the weekend starts as early as the previous sunday nite where i I crib,rave and rant and wonder HOW the weekend could have gone by so quickly. So much was planned and nothing was achieved yet again.And the planning starts once again on Monday morning where I list the "things to do" on the weekend in my head.And as the days go by, there is a lilt in my step and a smile on my face cos "im gonna be switched off". And then the the most longed for time arrives on Friday evening-yay..finally after 5 days of nonsensical existence,it arrives like a breather.Theres so much to do,so much to accomplish photography,reading,TV,going for walks,shopping..phew..and just when you THINK you will do all these things-Laziness grips you and you want to get out of its cluthes but its got such a strong hold that whatever you do u just cannot shake it off...damn! the evil lazy powers of the mind, the games it plays with you and before you know it its sunday nite once again..and you are looking forward to the next weekend :)